Over breakfast we discussed who was unwell and found out there was conveniently one ill person per car. Both Jameses (or Jamii if you wish) were still feeling ill and now Chris was starting to feel sick as well. Unfortunately we had left our clothes at reception to be cleaned and were still waiting for them to dry; to kill time we went to the supermarket for essentials like minute noodles and BB guns. A pistol and a few bags of plastic pellets was less than a dollar, we would have to be fools to pass up a bargain like that so bought one each for the drive. I drove while Chris slept, Adam drove while Wanger slept in the Yaris, and Sharkey drove the lion-mobile while James and Miles slept. The days drive was going peacefully until Chris woke up, then full on gorilla warfare broke out. The plan was distinctly drive-byish, we were going to slow down to force Red Lion to overtake and as they did we would pop a cap or two in them. We prepared by putting on our traditional Kyrgyz drive-by hats, which fit perfectly with Peugeot's headroom. As Red Lion took the bait and begun their overtaking manoeuvre we steadied our nerves, it's not everyday you shoot a man in the face. The plan looked to be going perfectly until they drew level and we were suddenly staring down the barrel of a BB gun. There was a tense stand off for a few palpable moments as neither Chris or Sharkey wanted to draw first blood. Those moments ran out quickly and the countryside of Kyrgyzstan was disturbed by the sound of gunfire, the very quiet sound of toy gunfire. Both shots went stray and might have killed some rare wildlife lurking in the bushes, but that was how war started in the convoy. We spent the next hour shooting at each other as we made our way north. People were lethally wounded in combat which was then announced over the radio for the sick pleasure of the rest of the convoy.

 

We pulled off the main road to have lunch by one of the many lakes in Kyrgyzstan, where we discovered the medicinal properties of instant noodles. Chris ate his noodles and suddenly felt a lot better. Now I'm not saying he was faking, the plan to throw up out a moving vehicle seemed genuine at first, but it was probably all a ploy to get more instant noodles. It was clear the others were not feeling the beneficial effects of their noodley lunch, so we decided to take on a mammoth drive to get to the hotel safety of Bishkek. With Chris feeling better he took the role of wheelman while the extremeness of the gunfight increased a few hours later. First we drove in a truce admiring the landscapes Kyrgyzstan, then we got bored of landscapes and went back to trying to kill each other with plastic pellets. The post-lunch tactics between James (acting as the gunman in the Micra) and I turned to full on movie car chase. We leant out the windows shooting at each other as the two cars flew down open roads. Once ammo supplies became sparse, we needed some for later tomfoolery, gunfire turned into projectiles. We threw biscuits at each other until the darkness and lack of petrol ruined our fun. Adam, the oldest a therefor most responsible, had not partaken in the car chase so the Yaris was no where to be seen as we pulled into a petrol station and realised how fun a high speed crash can be. Well by high speed crash I mean bumping into each other at 2mph as someone stops. While filling up the tanks, petrol not heavy artillery, we spotted Khan's Yaris creep by and radioed that we would catch them up.

 

The war settled down as darkness fell and we ventured into a fog and yurt filled valley. At the end of the valley there was a ridiculous series of hairpins winding up the side of mountain. The fog turned into rain as we climbed, this allowed Chris to preform the risky trick of spinning out while going slowly round a corner. On the way down the other side of the mountain we finally caught the Yaris and headed towards the city watching the lighting storm overhead. Wanger is the only one with a navigation smart phone app, navigating is not something he excels at - Each trip we take requires at least 4 U-turns, or Wanger specials as they're now known, and the drive to the specific hotel in the city centre was no different. At 1a.m. we finally arrived where the hotel was meant to be. We circled round some streets until we gave up went to find a different hotel, with a few U-turns in between. Once we got to the hotel we found out that it was actually full, as was the second and third. Eventually the receptionist at the third hotel found somewhere that could fit us all in. We got to the over priced "5-star" hotel  and reluctantly agreed to check-in, mainly because "5-star hotel" sounded better than sleeping in the car in the city centre. The facilities in the room didn't warrant 5-star but the temperature indicated there was 5-stars hidden somewhere in the room.