After a night camping in a field of weed we woke up feeling very relaxed and a bit peckish for breakfast. We were less relaxed after remembering the promise of revenge from yesterday, I checked the car and found "F*(k You" sprayed in shaving foam on the windscreen -  obviously they had written it without the astrix and bracket, and hadn't censored themselves. To be honest I wasn't that annoyed, it has been 30 days since we last shaved the car windows and the puberty beard our car has grown is embarrassing. I wiped off the shaving foam and removed all traces of Korday from our car with a dose of petrol, which I resisted setting a match to as a sign of disgust. After breakfast we pack up our camping gear and realised what a hole we had dug for ourselves. We were on the other side of a sand-dune from the road with no space for a decent run-up. The Mongoliers in their 4x4 cheated their way over the hill while the rest of us, in our small cars, made our attempts. The Yaris made it over just over the tipping point before getting stuck in the loose sand, Rob decided the best tactic for freeing the car was a running push. The majority of the car stayed in the same position, the boot on the other hand moved into a nice Rob shaped dent. Chris drove our trusty car over the hill on the first attempt, because Peugeot 107s are the ideal off-roading vehicles. Miles in his Micra managed to beach himself and the car on the pinnacle of the dune at least 3 times, each attempt ended just shy over the tipping point and required us to push the car back into the weed field - perhaps he was getting stuck on purpose. Eventually he stopped arsing around and got the car just over the top before getting stuck so it was easier to push him to the main road. The line was drawn in the sand for the warfare when Miles slowly rolled into the side of our rear wheel- apparently cosmetic damage is funny, and mechanical damage is not.

 

As we were driving the engine was running, and as the engine was running we were using petrol, and as we were using petrol we needed more petrol. We stopped at a random Kazakh petrol station and found the two Scottish guys from Uzbekistan. While we filled up our cars the Lion boys received a text from another team saying they were just up the road. The convoy had doubled in size since the Pamirs, and was now a long line of five tiny cars and one 4x4. The larger convoy was going well for awhile, but with more cars there is a higher chance of one exploding into a ball of fire. The fire never materialised but the Mongoliers Terrios did break a bit. We were at the end of the convoy with Khan and the Mongoliers, so while we felt obligated to stop the others in front left us for dead in the Kazakh desert. They hadn't broken down but they had broken their rear suspension springs, which is quite impressive considering they were on a smooth road in a 4x4. We followed them to the next town to find a mechanic who might be able to attach new springs while we had lunch. To converse his plan the mechanic played the most overly enthusiastic game of charades ever with Sharkey who then reiterated the plan to the Mongliers, much to the mechanics delight. While Jamie and Rob climbed into a car with Kazakhstan's charades champion we set off into town to find a cafe. There were no cafes in town, so we sat on the pavement outside the workshop and ate minute noodles. When the other two finally arrived back clutching two new rear suspension springs and shock absorbers we squeezed the tall car past the low  doors. The suspension springs they had bought were the wrong size, so the mechanic went to the back of his workshop and found a perfect set. They were perfect apart from not actually fitting the car, this wasn't an issue for the mechanic who forced them to fit anyway. The Terrios now looked like a monster truck with a massive lift kit in the back. Unfortunately due to this new and improved ride height the car didn't actually fit back through the low doors, a few people climbed on the back of the car for extra weight as the car edged back out the garage. With three functioning cars and their twelve functioning suspension springs we carried on to Semey hoping to find the others waiting at a hotel.

 

We arrived late into Semey after spending a good chunk of the day outside of a mechanics. The hotel we were aiming for was surrounded by other rally cars when we finally arrived. Wanger went into the hotel to check us into a few rooms, and met the woman at reception. What followed is the most ridiculously long winded way of finding out a hotel is full ever:

 

"Hi, do you have any rooms?" said Wanger in his friendliest voice, which is the main reason we had sent him in first.

 

"Yes, yes, yes" replied the woman at reception in a hushed voice.

 

Wanger continued the still normal conversation with "Ok cool, can we have 3 rooms?".

 

"Yes, yes, yes, no" the receptionist replied, like she was auditioning for the Kazakh Vicar of Dibley.

 

Now slightly confused Wanger revisited the previous question, "So there are no rooms?".

 

This was met with the mind-melting "No, yes, yes, yes, no"

 

"Alright so can we stay for one night?" Wanger said assuming he understood.

 

"Yes, this is hotel, yes" she said, still whispering like it was some sort of secret.

 

Still remaining reasonably calm Wanger responded "Ok good, so do you have any rooms available?".

 

She now had three words in her vocabulary, "Yes, yes, hotel, yes, no"

 

"Yes I know, but can we stay here tonight?" Wanger said showing incredible patience.

 

Now a mysterious fourth word appeared which started to shed light on the situation when she said "Yes, yes, no, full".

 

Wanger said "Ok...so the hotel is full?", feeling he was beginning to get somewhere.

 

I assume she must have been taking the piss when she said "Yes, yes, yes, yes, no".

 

Wanger went for one more attempt "So there are rooms?"

 

"Yes, hotel, yes"

 

At this point we gave up and moved on with our lives, I know we're all relatively young men but we might die before ascertaining whether there were rooms available. We checked into a different hotel with what can only be described as a perfectly normal reception experience - "Do you have four rooms?" was met with a simple "Yes, $10".